Do you need to make a change?

Do you need to make a change?  Why are you not doing it?  It could be a desire issue (a big part of you still does not want to make the change), it could be a wisdom issue (you're not sure exactly how to go about doing it) or it could be a strength issue (you are simply unable to be consistent about it). 

So take a look at the seven steps to change and see if anything resonates with you and enables you to go further.

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There are seven steps in the process of change.

1. Dissonance

2. Relevance

3. Information

4. Decision

5. Action

6. Tweaking

7. Repetition

Dissonance is an internal condition.  It is not feeling content or right about where you are at in life.  There's a quote that says "change won't take place until the pain of staying the same finally outweighs the pain of the change itself."  For most of us, we are not fully happy/content with where we are at and that causes us some discomfort or pain.  But the thought of making the effort to change things is even more discomforting or painful, and so we stay where we are at.  At some point, however, the pain of remaining the same becomes greater than the pain of making whatever effort is needed, and it will drive you to make a change.  This is the first step of dissonance.

Relevance is recognizing that some new attitude, action, resource or relationship will directly affect and aid you in making said change.  It is feeling a connection, a resonation, with 'something else' that will encourage, empower and equip you.

Information entails learning more about this 'something else'.  It is figuring out what is included in drawing towards this new attitude, behavior, resource, etc.

Decision is making the commitment.  It is your will/volition deciding 'yes, I will apply this relevant information to my situation, for it is what I need'.

Action means of course acting on that decision.  It is carrying it out, applying it, etc.

Because rarely do we do something right on the first try, we will need to tweak our action/application.  We will need to revisit the information we've acquired, making sure we understand it correctly, and figuring out how to exactly apply it to the details of our life.

Once we have tweaked our change attitude, behavior, etc. and we know that we are on the correct path, then we simply repeat the new change over and over again, consistently, not cutting corners, until the change becomes our new pattern and we rise up above the initial pain, problem, discomfort we had.

An EXTERNAL (physical) example:  being out of shape or unhealthy.

1. Coming to accept that my weight (heart rate, sleeping habits, smoking, what have you) is no longer something I am comfortable with.  The dissonance/discomfort is great enough that I am willing now to make some changes.
2. Realizing that changing my eating/sleeping/exercising habits need to change. I need to replace my current behavior with a new one, not just seek to eliminate the bad habit.

3. Learning that replacing my fast food dinners with home cooked meals (or fruit), even for just six months, will put me on the right track.  (Or increasing my sleep from 4 to 6 hours, or down from 10 to 8, etc.)

4. Committing to making this new change.
5. Begin replacing my fast food dinners, or going to bed at a different time, or expending 2000-2500 calories a day, etc.
6. After a few weeks, looking to see if I need to change this plan slightly, to better accommodate my physiology.
7. Repeat until it becomes my new healthy habit.

An INTERNAL (relational) example:  treating my significant other better (or co-worker or what have you).

1. While I may be unhappy with how my spouse is treating me, I'm beginning to feel uncomfortable (dissonance) with how I'm treating her/him.

2. Realizing that actually doing that little something that they are asking for (or that that book recommends) may actually help and that will be worth the price.

3. Figuring out the details of what different action/attitude I can take to create a healthier, calmer, more fun, etc. environment.

4. Commit to making that change.
5. Start doing that change, performing that certain action (or not performing it, depending), keeping aware of whether or not you're doing it properly (timing, context, tone, etc.)
6. Adjust your behavior attitude as necessary, depending on the results (are you making the situation better for your spouse?).
7. Once you are on the right path, repeat and repeat until it becomes ingrained in you to continually create a healthy environment for your spouse.

An ETERNAL (spiritual) example:  leaning on God to give you the desire and strength to persevere through a trial.

1. Coming to grips with the fact that ignoring or trying to change a bad situation is just causing more problems and that maybe God wants you to simply persevere through it so that you mature.

2. Realizing that the Scripture explains the why and how of this, and maybe you can be encouraged through studying those passages.

3. Reading those passages, meditating on them and seeing what they teach regarding perseverance.
4. Making the decision to no longer ignore, attempt to flee or try to change the bad situation and simply turn the other cheek, allow it to happen, and grow closer to God (and stronger) through it.
5. Act on the commitment and being to refrain from enforcing what is due you and refrain from reacting to the situation, other than leaning on God for the peace and power to accept it as it is (joyfully even).
6. Tweak this process, continually coming back to God when you stumble trying to fight the situation, and ask Him again for the wisdom, desire and strength to accept it (study Job and Joseph and be encouraged by those passages).

7. As you get there, standing next to God in the midst of the problem, finding that the joy of being with Him outweighs the burden of the problem, continue in that and begin to set the example for others.

One last comment on this:  it is very easy and desirable to start with external situations and go through the change steps with them.  I would counter that, and encourage you to experiment with making eternal changes first, then internal ones, then external ones.  As we've taught before, life should Be-Do-Have (i.e., character development, then action, then resource management).  To do life in that order tends to fit more within Biblical parameters and has better results (though it takes longer and with more effort and sacrifice).

As always, don't let me teach you anything.  Take these steps to God and ask Him if they are something He wants you to work through.  And if so, then ask Him which situations or changes He wants you to first address.  Then act on it.  See where you are in the steps/process.  What have you skipped?  Why?  What can you do to go back and address that step?  Does it work? etc.  And please let me know how it goes!

with love,

shannon