Agape Love

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to watch two of my favorite friends get married (congrats Dave and Jamee!). It was a beautiful wedding and a fun time. I was honored to be asked to do one of the readings, which was from 1 Corinthians 13, the chapter on love.

The word "love" is so over-used in our society today, that I really wanted to fully understand what I was reading. So not only did I pay attention to and meditate on the chapter, I also broke down the original Greek wording, and was impacted by what I found. So here is the entire chapter, broke down by phrase. I've included the Greek wording and the literal translation of it (according to Strong's Concordance). And then I added some notes and thoughts of my own as to what that means.

I really do pray that someone, or many, read this posting and are able to be impacted by it, as I was. And that they are able to apply it to their current circumstances. May Christ be glorified and may individuals be blessed. Father, I put this break-down of the word 'love' into Your Hands. May we better understand (and obey!) the greatest command You've given us- to love You and to love everyone else!

********************

1 Corinthians 12:31-13:8a NAB

A reading from the first letter of Saint Paul to the Corinthians

Brothers and sisters:

Strive eagerly for the greatest spiritual gifts.

But I shall show you a still more excellent way.

If I speak in human and angelic tongues

but do not have love,

I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.

And if I have the gift of prophecy

and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge;

if I have all faith so as to move mountains,

but do not have love, I am nothing.

If I give away everything I own,

and if I hand my body over so that I may boast

but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.

It is not jealous, is not pompous,

It is not inflated, it is not rude,

it does not seek its own interests,

it is nor quick tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over

wrong doing.

But rejoices with the truth.

It bears all things, believes all things,

hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.

The word of the Lord.

"love" = agape = charity, affection, benevolence, specifically a love feast.

Agape love is the highest, most superior moral love. It knows no bounds. It is undefeatable and unconditional. It is a sincere, deep, true affection that is overwhelming in the best of ways. It provides so much and is so useful and impactful to whomever receives (and gives) such love.

"a more excellent way" = kata huperbole hodos = Agape Love is intensely beyond anything else.

It is the superb and pre-eminent path in life. Nothing, nothing at all, can come close to what Agape Love will do for those who live it.

Without it, "I am nothing" and "I gain nothing" = eimi oudis and opheleo oudis = I am not even one. I am useful to not even one person.

I exist with none, nobody, nothing. You can't count anything valuable in me. And I benefit no one. I have zero advantages to give. (This is powerful; this is not just fluff language.) It shows us that Agape Love is the most important thing on this planet that we can offer. Without it, we have zero real value to those around us. So take it. Embrace it. Run with it. Let it rain over you as you shower it upon others.

"patient" = makrothumeo = to be long spirited, forbearing, patiently enduring.

One of the Merriam Webster definitions for 'forbearing' is "refraining from enforcing what is due to you". Agape Love is being patient when someone tries you, tests you, insults you or hurts you. You endure it because you love them so much. You recognize there must be something that is painful to them that is causing them to behave this way. You seek out what is bothering them and help them through it, so that they are less mean-spirited towards you. And you take as long as is needed to help them. Your love for them is stronger than your anger at being hurt by them. Agape Love chooses to wait out and persevere through bad times rather than automatically fighting back and defending yourself.

"kind" = chresteuomai = show oneself useful; act benevolently

This is an active description; it shows that Agape Love is proactive; it is action. Agape Love is more than a feeling; it provides an advantage of some sort for the other. With Agape Love, you impact those around you in very real, beneficial ways. You look for ways to do something nice.

"not jealous" = zeloo ou = not have warmth against; to not covet or envy; not be jealous of

Agape Love does not allow you to compare what you have to others. You are truly, sincerely happy for people where they are at and hold no bitterness towards them if they possess or achieve more than you.

"not pompous" = perpereuomai ou = to not brag or boast

Agape Love means you do not go out of your way to talk about yourself or repeat your achievements or successes. As with 'no jealousy', you do not compare yourself to those you love. You would rather seek the promotion and focus of others than yourself. You spend more time standing right beside your partner rather than in front of or behind him/her.

"not inflated" = ou phusioo = no blowing up or self-inflation; no haughtiness

God is really hitting home the point here; Agape Love means the opposite of self-seeking. Recognize that to have Agape Love for your partner (or anyone for that matter) means that you are no longer your #1 priority. Mark 12:29-31 says the greatest two commands are 1) love God and 2) love others. So Agape Love means that God is always your #1 priority (serving Him, paying attention to Him, showing Him how much He means to you). A very close second needs to be your family (your spouse and children) and then other believers and the rest of the world. Your love for yourself doesn't need to go away, but it should equal the amount of love you have for others. This is easy to give lip service to, but not actually follow through on. So make sure each decision you make does not serve the self without serving others as well.

"not rude" = ou aschemoneo = to not behave unseemly or unbecoming; but rather to behave appropriately at all times

This is another difficult one, as we like to assume teasing is always OK or we can stretch the boundaries of propriety. Agape Love makes us always conscious of our behavior and the effect it may have with others. Agape Love always seeks to do what is right and proper, not cut corners. This is a consciousness of the feelings of those around you.

"not seek its own interests" = zeteo ou heautou = to not seek, go about or desire (things for) yourself

Once again, Agape Love shows that the husband looks to the needs of the wife as the wife looks to the needs of the husband. There is no more independent self-care. The roles are swapped. The husband isn't worried about not taking care of himself because he knows his wife will take care of his needs. And the wife isn't worried about taking care of herself because she knows the husband is taking care of her needs. It is a powerful type of relationship. It is a higher love. It is Agape Love and it is amazing to watch in action. This holds true for all relationships and friendships based on Agape Love.

"not quick tempered" = ou paroxuno = not exasperated, provoked or stirred

Agape Love is calm and understanding and in control and forgiving. When things go bad, Agape Love stands above it. Agape Love knows that it is stronger than anything. When it is provoked, pushed or tested, it remains in control of the heart's emotions. It responds to the situation with calm maturity, not in rage or volatile emotions. It is flexible, goes with the flow and bends a little to the opposition; not attack back. As with patience, the priority is the other person, not the self. So if one spouse sometimes pushes the button of the other, tempers do not flare, because the Agape Love accepts each person and would rather hug them than lash at them (no matter what). It is a powerful, beautiful thing. This is not easy to do at all, for we are human and naturally protective and defensive of ourselves. But if we God ask to give us Agape Love, He will. And He will show us how to use it.

"does not brood over injury" = logizomai ou kakos = does not take inventory of worthless things; does not keep track of bad behavior

This can be another tough one for us. We are to not remember nor keep it in mind when our partner wrongs us. When we forgive, we must also forget. The two cannot be separated. God tells us that He "remembers our sins no more" and "as far as the east is from the west, so shall He remove our sins from us" and "He blots out our sins, erases them completely". So if God truly erases our mistakes against Him and honestly cannot recall them, then so should we do the same for those we love. If our loved one wrongs us (intentionally or unintentionally) and sincerely asks forgiveness, then we are to 100% completely erase the event. Agape Love does not keep track of wrongdoings and mistakes. Agape Love pushes injuries away and focuses instead on the good. It is optimistic, always. This is tough, unless we ask God for help. And He will give us the power to forgive and forget.

"not rejoice over wrongdoing" = chairo ou epi adikia = takes no cheer in injustice or wrong things

We should never smirk or congratulate ourselves or be thankful when we see somebody wronged. We never wish ill of anyone. If we are mad at our spouse, we cannot be happy when something bad happens to them. As mentioned before, we must always be focused on the positive and on serving our spouse, even when (ESPECIALLY WHEN) we are mad at them. Anyone can love those who are nice to them. It takes a special person, a strong person, a noble person- a person with Agape Love- to be kind and wish well to those who have wronged them. This is what Agape Love is all about. We are going to get mad at our partners; that's a given. A 'regular' marriage would see the couple stay away from each other when they are fighting. An Agape couple, even while still mad and fighting, will be looking for ways to serve and help the other. They will hug in their anger, not yell. They will communicate while angry, not ignore. They will serve and do nice things for each other while fighting, not get even. This goes against logic; this is not common. But that is because most marriages are not founded on Agape Love. You set your relationship on God and Agape Love, and you will see these kind of things happen. Your passion in the bedroom, your fun on the streets, your strength in the challenges, etc. will know no bounds. Your friends and family will be awe of what the two of you accomplish; of how you live life. They will seek your company and your advice. Agape Love is a powerfully magnetic and freeing thing. Embrace it! (Again, applicable for all relationships.)

"rejoices with the truth" = sugchairo ho alethia = sympathize in gladness with the Truth; rejoice in the Truth

The Truth of what? What truth is this talking about? *The* Truth. i.e., Christ Himself. Christ is the truth of all things. He is the source of all things. He is the end of all things. Christ is the center of the universe. It is He who brings us eternal life. It is He who loves us more than we realize, more than we can even truly comprehend. It is He who will give us the strength, peace and joy to push through the trials of life. It is He who will teach us forgiveness and Agape Love. It is He who will always comfort us, protect us, guide us, walk with us, cry with us, laugh with us, move us, encourage us and cheer us on. Christ is the Ultimate Source of all and everything that is good. We must not forget that. We must always think on that. We must rejoice and be glad because of that. We must cling to Christ, seek Christ, pursue Christ, enjoy our relationship with Christ. If we rejoice in the Truth, if we are glad that we have a powerful friendship with Christ, then everything else will take care of itself.

Notice that most of this list so far had been what Agape Love is NOT. This list is showing us the parameters, the boundaries of Agape Love. It is showing us where Agape Love will not go and what it will not do. Agape Love is so big and vast, it is easier to show the small limits, the few areas, that Agape Love does not participate in. The rest of things fall within Agape Love. It is freedom, it is huge, it is truly wonderful. And at the middle of it all is Jesus Christ Himself, the King of Kings and Creator of the Universe. So how do we know where Agape Love is? How do we know that we are on the right track? If we are pursuing Jesus, looking for Him, drawing closer to Him, spending time with Him, serving and loving and obeying Him, really being glad about our relationship with Him and what He has done for us, then we can be sure that we are also in the middle of Agape Love. So do you truly want to taste this Agape Love and shower it on your spouse and others? The number one best way you can do this is to be truly happy and excited about your King Jesus.

Never forget that He came to this earth, debased Himself by taking human form, lived out a regular human life for 30-some years, and then let Himself be despised, rejected, turned away, physically beat and then killed, so that you and I can be forgiven and seen as perfect in the Father's Eyes, and thus be able to enter Heaven. Never forget that you are so important to Jesus, that He spent all that He had to die for you, so that He could walk with you through this life and in the eternity of the next life. That should move you, inspire you, humble you, enthrall you, convict you. And if it does, you will draw close to Him and one of the many benefits you will get is the ability to live Agape Love. If you are not convicted, if you don't care, if Jesus is something on the periphery of your life, you cannot have Agape Love.

"bears all things" = stego pas = to roof over, cover with silence, bear patiently anything that happens

This phrase has two basic meanings. One, we are to reach out and put a roof over those in need, i.e. we try to help others in their tribulations. Anything that your spouse or friend may go through- you are to work to bring them into your protection. The second meaning is to cover over faults, i.e. do not make public the faults and mistakes of your loved ones. As you yourself keep no record, neither is there any reason to let others know of them. You forgive and forget all wrongs done to you by the one you love. No matter what.

"believes all things" = pisteuo pas = have faith in, give credit to, entrust oneself (with Christ) in all things

Again, two meanings. One is to give others the benefit of the doubt. You are not distrustful or suspicious. You assume the best with your loved one. You trust them and give them credit for good things. If it turns out they are behaving badly, then you help correct them and then forgive them. Always assume the positive. The second meaning is to trust in Christ to protect and bless your marriage. He must always be the center of your relationship. Go to Him for all things, and He will guide you.

"hopes all things" = elpizo pas = expect, hope (in Christ) in all things

Hope can be said to stand for Holding Onto Positive Expectations. Agape love is a positive emotion, not a despairing one. Agape drives and pushes forward to good things. It looks up, with energy and a smile. It creates an air of joy and excitement, confidence and good expectation. It is a magnetic environment that people are drawn to. Even when things are bad, hope remains, for if you stay attached to Christ, He will guide you out (in His Time) from the bad. Never give up.

"endures all things" = hupomeno pas = stay under, remain, undergo, bear trials with fortitude and perseverance

And during those bad times that will certainly happen (that is life, isn't it?), you persevere through them. You do not flee. Agape Love is strong and resilient. No matter how bad things get, a man or woman drenched in Agape Love will stand through it all. Fleeing is not an option. Divorce is not an option. No matter how bad something gets, Agape Love is always stronger. Always. If something is more than you can endure, all it means is you are not draped in Agape Love. Seek it, cling to it, embrace it, breathe it in and use it, and you will find yourself miraculously stronger and able to survive, even push through, the bad situation. I promise you this.

"Love never fails" = agape oudepote ekpipto = agape will not ever drop away, be driven out or fail, not even one time

This is a consistent and on-going thing. Agape Love achieves all these things at all times. That is why it is the superior love, the higher love, and nothing can compare. Nothing can challenge it, nothing can beat it, nothing can tempt it. It is the purest and strongest of all things, and if a marriage is covered in and enveloped by Agape Love, it is the strongest type of relationship on the planet. It lets you go to sleep at night comforted and at peace. It gets you up in the morning, excited and ready. It takes you through the day with wisdom, forgiveness, patience, goodness and strength. It is as the center of every emotion, every action, and when Christ says that He came to give us 'life to the full' or 'life abundant', it is because He is introducing us to agape love. He is its source. He is its giver.

Always, always have Christ at the center of your heart, the center of your life, the center of you relationships. If both partners strive to follow Christ and receive and embrace the Agape Love that He offers, the marriage will be solid gold, steel refined through fire. Bad times will still come; up and downs will still occur; temptations and pain will still arise. But through it all, you will survive the fire. You will heal. You will stand fast, arm in arm. You will be smiling, even if tears are falling. There is nothing that tastes like this. Drink it up and soar! And never forget that it can only be truly and fully drunk from the cup that Jesus offers. Other types of love try to imitate, and may come close for short periods of time, but they are not enough. Make the sacrifices that Christ asks of you, pay the price of serving of Him gladly, and receive the most powerful force in the universe. It will take time to truly understand it and learn how to use it, but we've got time.

Let these descriptions be very real, very applicable to you. When you find yourself in a bad situation, go back over this list and apply it to the details of the circumstances you are facing. Lean on Christ, let Him lend you a huge portion of His Agape Love. Do this and you will be a city on the hill, a light that cannot be hidden; one that shines in the darkness for all to see. It will give hope to others, guidance to others, strength to others. And never cease to always give Christ the credit for it. It is He who gives it to you, He who shows you how to use it. Take the free gift and shower it on others. First to your spouse and children and family, then to friends and family and also to strangers and to enemies. Let us get a taste of what Heaven is going to be like as we persevere, laughing, through this life, cloaked in love.

Put on the cloak of Agape Love and walk your path.